Discover how a broken approach to social selling can damage your sales reputation, costing you business referrals and lost revenue.
Steve thought he was a social selling pro, but his first message after connecting with me on LinkedIn proved that he wasn’t.
“What is referral selling?”
Asking me that question showed me he wasn’t really a social seller; he was a social stalker. Social sellers do their homework, using their LinkedIn networks to gain insights, build sales trust, and make connections. Steve clearly had no clue who I was when he invited me. If he had read even a single post I’d written, he would know the answer.
Beware of Social Selling Stalkers
The so-called “social selling” world is filled with social stalkers like Steve. Their LinkedIn sales strategy is to send connection requests to “anyone who fogs a mirror” and then lie in wait, ready to pounce with an unwelcome sales pitch the moment someone responds.
(Image attribution: chaylek)
These stalkers don’t limit themselves to the online world. They’re the same salespeople you meet at networking events, who grab your card and then send impersonal emails (with attachments) the very next day, pitching products and asking for business referrals. These are the people we all try to avoid, and they give the rest of us a bad sales reputation.
Like Steve, many online sales stalkers are too lazy to even personalize their invitations and just use the automated verbiage: “Please join my professional network.” Others write their own copy, but they provide absolutely no reason that you would actually want to connect with them. Instead they send generic messages like: “We have many connections in common,” or “I’m looking to connect with influencers like you.” The second you respond, you get a generic sales pitch.
Unless you’re one of those card-grabbing networking pariahs, you would never introduce yourself this way at an in-person event. Not only would such behavior defy all B2B sales best practices; it would be plain rude. Instead, you would have a conversation, get to know the person, and then decide if you want to continue the conversation. You certainly wouldn’t lead with a sales pitch before you even knew if the person would be a decent prospect.
It’s important to show up online like you show up in-person. To stop acting like sales stalkers and start acting like salespeople (“people” being the operative word). When you conduct conversations like a person and not a spam bot, you build the kind of sales trust that converts new connections into new customers—and earns you business referrals.
(Image attribution: armypicca)
The High Cost of Social Selling Stalking
When your LinkedIn sales strategy is based on quantity of connections (versus quality of conversations), you don’t just get ignored. You actively damage your sales reputation. Potential prospects will tune you out, and potential advocates (i.e., referral sources) will ignore you. Instead of opening doors, you’ll burn bridges before a conversation even begins.
Effective social selling is trust-based selling. Social stalkers don’t understand that, and their sales prospecting approach results in:
1. Lost Trust = Lost Opportunities
Once sales trust is broken, it’s nearly impossible to rebuild. A prospect who feels spammed or pressured won’t just ignore one message—they’ll remember the salesperson as someone to avoid. That’s one less potential client to pursue, and one less referral network to tap into.
2. Negative Word of Mouth
People talk. A poor first impression doesn’t just close one door—it can spread through industries, peer groups, and professional circles. Instead of being known as a trusted advisor, social stalkers gain a negative sales reputation. They become known as “that pushy LinkedIn guy” or “the email spammer,” making it harder to earn credibility down the road.
3. Referrals Dry Up
Referral selling relies on strong relationships. If a salesperson treats every new connection as a quick win rather than a long-term opportunity, they signal that they don’t value relationships—only transactions. When that happens, even existing clients might hesitate to introduce them to others, fearing it will put their reputation at stake too.
4. A Compounding Effect on Sales Performance
The direst consequence of social selling stalking? A perpetually weak pipeline. When burned bridges stack up, salespeople have to work twice as hard to generate new opportunities—often resorting to even more cold outreach, further worsening the cycle.
(Image attribution: islander11)
Trust-Based Selling for the Win
Selling isn’t just about who you meet; it’s about how you make them feel.
Sales pros are inveterate connectors. They establish common interests, build sales trust, engage in offline conversations, and offer to help their prospects, clients, and colleagues. In this era of social miss-selling, the more personal connections you make with people, the more valued those connections will be.
People who like and trust you are more likely to do business with you and to refer you to other great prospects. The strangers you stalk on social media won’t give you the time of day, much less business referrals.
Bottom line: Open the right doors, and opportunities will come your way. Slam them shut with bad outreach, and you might never get another chance.
[VIDEO] You’re Asking for Referrals the Wrong Way—Here’s How to Fix It
Most people ask for referrals like this: “Do you know anyone who might need my services?” And the response? Crickets. There is a better way. When you get specific, you make it easy for people to refer you. I shared my best referral strategies on The Grey Matters Podcast with Viveka von Rosen and Steve Dotto. Listen here
(Featured image attribution: gankogroup)
